Part 1 – The More Likely To Score At The Party-ers

2018 has finally arrived, valiantly bringing an end to another disastrous year. However, despite parting ways with Head Coach Andrew Hamilton – reports say the lack of silverware were a major concern with the exec – Warwick Bears enter 2018 with renewed hope; 3 teams heading to Indoor Nationals, an undefeated Bears 2 in the BUCS league, and the knowledge that Willem is only captain for 1 more term. That’s not all, 2018 brings a gift for all, an ancient gift first given in the year 1979, a gift so glorious that over 100 wise men (and women) will pilgrimage back to the sports hall where it all started, it is of course Windoors, and here is a preview of what we’re likely see.

I have decided to split the preview into 3 parts: The Contenders, The Pretenders, and The More Likely To Score At The Party-ers. So, without much further ado let’s begin with the tail-end of the table, The More Likely To Score At The Party-ers.

We kick things off with Bears 1 Women who will be hoping to improve on their last Windoors appearance and luckily for them a lot has changed. Having moved on from the old guard and *ahem* inept coaching staff, this team of young stars looks set to continue their upwards trend that saw them finish 11th at UWON and qualify for UWIN for just the second time in 5 years. Led by the terrific trio; Captain E-Dales, Chloe “Hannah” Neworth and Catherine McGrath, who despite their own personal struggles with JDL addiction have shepherded this group out of the darkness and into the light. Elsewhere on the team we have young guns Iona “I barely know her” Webster and Hannah “Chloe” Yorsom, both players with eyes firmly set on 2019 success and a close battle for the captaincy. It would be remiss to not mention defensive stalwarts Winnie “what’s an offence?” Yan, back from her season long loan and Katie “Goldilocks” Anderson, their experience could prove crucial in the tight games. Expect a strong showing from a confident women’s team, finishing top of this bracket could be a real possibility.

JDL not even once

Now the perennial bottom finishers the “fresher” teams. Winnington Bears, though I don’t predict them winning tons of games, with good pod synergy and strong play from Charlie “Get” Dunn, Kenneth “Tan Wei” Bugembe and captain Ceri “Elastigirl” Woolley, they have enough about them to avoid the spoon match. When asked whether he thought they could win the tournament Rohin Velani replied “Yeah, You know I work for Mercedes?

Nevi Bears are the oldest team in the bracket thanks to pickup Nat “MP” Panda, the only man to have played in all 39 Windoors. Supporting Nat in his bid to finally break into the first team are Greg “I’ve got more brothers than you” Roffey, Kaitrin “Better than Seamus anyway” Wilson and Harry “Terror threat” Stallard, who last week was witnessed going 0-60 in 3.4 secs. Reports of infighting between George “Mr. Incredible” Blinman-Wilson and William “Syndrome” Massey have done little to dampen the optimism of the team, I predict a poor finish however, mainly because I don’t know what a Nevi Bears is, maybe Yogi and Nev-something, if you work it out please comment.

Another year, another freshers team doesn’t use the Bear Necessities, but at long last Baloo the Bear makes his Windoors debut. Made up of more experience than most, Matt “Frisbee Jesus” Pike & Matt “Frisbee Genius” Palmer will utilise the length of Tomas “Arms” Simutis and the elusiveness of Jenny “Violet” Scowcroft to dictate the offence. Owen and Xavier may not have won the “Frig and Tobias” couple of the year, but make no mistake this paring could prove lethal as long as they don’t get lost in each other’s eyes.

Frisbee Jesus and Frisbee Genius’ connection will be stronger than ever.

Rounding out the fresher teams we have Rupert Bears – interesting fact they are the only rostered team with no shared first initial. Led by the freshers Nathan “Deck the” Hall and “He Fell Over’” Ifekoya, and with ample support from Harry “Sods” Law, Rupert offer an exciting and enigmatic proposition. Captain Lara “Tomb Raider” Nash has been developing the new Bermuda triangle tactic which could cause trouble for many teams. The speed and height of star receivers Connor Ford and Samir “Dash” Miah and the addiction of everyone’s favourite Welsh-German Felix Martin means if you’re looking for big throws and bigger plays this is the team to watch.

Looking to challenge Bears to the title of best women’s team will be Ninja Frispeas, a team of mainly frisbee freshers last year, I fully expect them to equal or even increase their 2017 win total. Rumour has it Harry “wishes he was a Bear” Mason will be donning the pigtails and attempting to pickup undetected, so please inform the nearest steward if you spot anyone doing two of the following:

  1. Being overly friendly
  2. Wearing coloured leggings
  3. Taking spirit games seriously

Also finishing in the bottom bracket, I have #incle who are bravely making the long journey south to fill in for an exam depleted Bounce, they will be hoping their rebranding from HUF will provide the spark needed to avoid finishing in the bottom 3 for the second time. I expect as much and would not be surprised if they broke out of the bottom 8. Travelling less far are Coventry, a team that last year promised so much yet delivered so little, losing varsity despite being 8-2 up will be fresh in the minds of many players out for revenge, but without the “Hat” – “Girl that throws Hammers” connection they will be relying on recently returned “sorry I was sunbathing in Australia”, their captain, to bring out some plays.

My prediction

17th – #incle
18th – Baloo the Bears
19th – Coventry
20th – Bears 1 Women
21st – Rupert Bears
22nd – Winnington Bears
23rd – Ninja Frispeas
24th – Nevi Bears

Matthew Kirk

Social Sec 14/15, Women's Coach 15/16

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